Clown Bullpen Bro


When you think about it really, the whole day wasn’t one of the Mets’ finer days.

First, we found out that even though Matt Harvey was solid against the Toledo Mud Hens, that we would still have to be subjected to one more Miguel Batista start on Saturday.

Then, we got to endure eight innings of Jason Bay and his uselessness and his double plays and his attempted sacrifice flies which are caught twenty feet away from the infield dirt, hence turning into fly outs that don’t sacrifice a damn thing.

And then what we thought would be the greatest move of the night only turned out to be the most painful, as with two runners on with the ninth Terry Collins pinch hit for Bay with Jordany Valdespin. Oh sure, we loved it when Valdespin hit that three run home run off Tyler Clippard to give the Mets the lead. But with the crappy Mets bullpen being entrusted with a lead, the home run only dragged out the horror. I could have lived with a tidy, quick, 2-0 loss where the biggest complaint I would have had was Scott Hairston and Bay not getting David Wright home from third with less than two outs. No. God likes to torture Mets fans at every opportunity. So Valdespin hits a home run and Bobby Parnell comes on to try for the save. 

With two runners on and two outs, Parnell was confounding Danny Espinosa with curveball after curveball. It was like Keith Hernandez texted him that if he threw another fastball he would kill him. Well guess what, Parnell threw a fastball at Espinosa’s ankles and he lined it into center to tie the game. Soon after, Keith ran onto the field brandishing a gun yelling “Rockhead! You Rockhead!!!” It was a bad scene.

The Mets took the lead in the tenth on a Josh Thole double, but it didn’t solve the problem of how the Mets could win this game without having to trust a member of that bullpen. Alas, it was Tim Byrdak … the very definition of “the best of a bad situation”. Well, if that’s the best, I don’t want to see the worst. (Actually, we did. His name is Carrasco, I believe.) Byrdak gave up a single to Jhonatan Solano. Then after a sacrifice, Bryce Harper smashed a triple to right center field to tie the game again. You know how I knew this would happen? Remember the All-Star game? Remember when Bryce was on the bench talking to Larry Jones? What the hell do you think Jones was telling him? How to torture the Mets … of course. We lose Jones after this season, but Jones will live on in this kid. You watch.

So two guys get walked so Pedro Beato can come into the game and pitch to Tyler Moore. Moore was down 0-2, and then he didn’t have to do anything else. Because Tyler Moore knows that with each glance and every little movement, the Mets bullpen shows that it is atrocious from top to bottom. Beato throws a wild pitch, and the game was over. To think this all could have been avoided if Collins didn’t do something ridiculous like pinch hit for Jason Bay. Nooooooo, we had to hear about how Valdespin saved the season with his home run before the game was even over. Nobody can even save the damn hyperbole until the game was over. Well I got some hyperbole for you: Sandy Alderson doesn’t need one new arm in that bullpen. He needs six. (But none that are too pricey … sigh.)

But good news, the Mets are looking at Jonathan Broxton. F*cking joy! Another guy who can come into a big spot and ruin the season. Great. I can’t wait. And I can’t wait for the Royals to ask for the Mets’ whole farm system for him and take advantage of the Mets’ perceived desperation so they can make up for that awful Jonathan Sanchez trade (you know, the one I thought the Royals won philosophically). Yeah, that’s going to be fun. And it’ll be the reason the Mets aren’t going to get any help. Teams will ask for everything, and Alderson isn’t stupid enough to give in. So seventeen stalemates and nine blown saves later, the team you see now is the team you’ll see in August. (Except for Harvey replacing Batista if anybody has any sense left after all of the bullpen implosions kill thousands of brain cells.)

So the Mets are 0-4 out of the break against the two top teams in the division, with two more to go against the Nationals. The Mets could shock all of us and salvage these last two and get everybody back on board again. Somehow I doubt it … especially not with Jason Bay returning and the bullpen not departing. And this means that this season which took three months to build up into something respectable is about to be ruined in the span of a week.


About metstradamus

I've been a Mets fan since 1976. The 1988 NLCS still bothers me infinitely more than it should. I also write about hockey for Puck Drunk Love. I've also been referred to as "Mr. Testosterone", and "this clown". We'll always have 2015.