I can’t wait until that inevitable point in May or maybe June of next season when the Mets are three games over .500, and everybody asks me why I have to be so damn negative. Or why I just can’t enjoy the team because “we didn’t expect them to be where they are.” I’ll point them back to this debacle. And the other 22 debacles at Bad Feng Shui Field since the All Star break.

This has absolutely reached disgusting f*cking levels at this point. Two strikes to go and they can’t even close the deal? And don’t get me wrong. I don’t blame Collins for bringing in Josh Edgin to face the top of the Phillies lineup. He made Jimmy Rollins look like a fool. He struck out Ty Wigginton and made Ty gives him a “you sonofabitch” look. That was awesome! And then it all went to hell. He walked Chase Utley on a pitch that Utley didn’t even realize was ball four, then Ryan Howard hit one off the porch to win the game for the Phillies.

(Of course, this wasn’t before Jordany Valdespin got himself ejected after striking out looking on what Bob Davidson should have called ball four. Yes, it was a bad call. But hey, Jordany … shut up! Because here’s the thing, JVI’MTHEMANRIGHTNOW1: When the last time your team scored more than three runs at home was 2008, you don’t have the right to argue anything. Not a damn thing.)

But hey, we had to find out about Edgin at some point. What point better than now? I could care less that the Mets were winning 2-1 in the ninth. It was the perfect opportunity to see what he could do. I mean, sure Jon Rauch could have come in and gotten the save. What good does that do the Mets? So Edgin gets the call. And let’s face it, we’re going to see a lot of him and Rob Carson in the pen next season so better find out about them now than in July when the games actually mean something (before they go on an 1-80 slump to give them the worst record of all time.)

But at the risk of contradicting myself vis-a-vis, not caring about the win enough to pitch Rauch instead of Edgin (Frantsisk had a barking elbow, apparently), but then getting pissed that they lost … two runs? Again??? This team has gotten to the point where Daniel Murphy celebrated a third inning RBI single by clapping at second base no less than eight times. Eight times!!! Why? Because every damn run this team scores is reason enough to have a parade because they come so infrequently. That’s how pathetic this season, just like the three before it, have become. So pathetic, in fact, that Lucas Duda … the same guy who was tabbed to the the guy to start at first base against lefties because Ike Davis is an uncoachable booze hound, apparently, was pinch hit for by Justin Turner because Charlie Manuel brought in Jeremy Horst. A lefty, by the way.

If I’m Ike Davis (the guy that is being badmouthed for stupid shit even though he’s one of the guys who can actually help turn this horror show around if he has some major league hitters batting around him next season), I show up at Citi Field drunk, march to the Suite du Wilpon with a bottle of Jack Daniels in hand and say “You know what? F*cking trade me and get me off this sinking ship you clowns!” And then I pee on their Brooklyn Dodger memorabilia collection. That has to be considered a good career move at this point, right?

David Wright might want to join him. So might Matt Harvey. Seven innings of no-hit ball on Wednesday after a leadoff home run by Rollins? And then goes and says after the game that many of his performances were unacceptable because he was going 5-6 innings even though he just got to the majors, and that he wants to go seven and eight? He’s quickly proving that he’s too good for this nonsense too. He must be happy that he’s been shut down for the rest of the year so that he won’t have the chance to have any more wins blown apart because this idiot team can’t score more than two runs in a game.


About metstradamus

I've been a Mets fan since 1976. The 1988 NLCS still bothers me infinitely more than it should. I also write about hockey for Puck Drunk Love. I've also been referred to as "Mr. Testosterone", and "this clown". We'll always have 2015.