Motorcycles And Pink Guns: Your Jeff Kent Moment Of The Week


This Jeff Kent moment of the week contains spoiler alerts. So if you haven’t watched the show … then first off, what the hell is wrong with you? It’s Sunday! The show aired on Wednesday. Clean out your DVR already. But also, don’t click the “read more” button. Otherwise …

A strong contender for Jeff Kent Moment Of The Week was when he cost his tribe a chance at cookies and muffins when he lost the seventh match in a best of seven contest involving keeping statues off the ground. How could you not see this coming? In deciding playoff games, whether they be Game 5’s or 7’s, Kent is 2 for 15 lifetime. But then, just before going to tribal council for the first time where it was pretty much a slam dunk that Miss New Hampshire was going to go home because she was as horrible in the immunity challenge as Kent is at assigning blame for dirty slides, Dawson decided that she was going to trump ineptitude with stupidity and open her mouth. “Hey, I consider athletes basketball players, football players, and baseball players.” She admitted that this was an obvious attempt to make Kent uncomfortable. And it worked. In fact it worked so well that Kent decided, “hey let’s get rid of her instead of Miss New Hampshire.” And just like that she was gone.


The only other tribesmate to seemingly know that Jeff from Austin was actually Jeff Kent, former baseball player, got herself voted out because she doesn’t know how to use information. Which begs the question: How the hell does nobody else on the island know that he’s Jeff Kent??? These people are as oblivious as Snoop Manuel when he talks about concussions.

And then came the Jeff Kent Moment Of The Week:

That’s right. Dawson wants Jeff Kent to give her a motorcycle for keeping his secret. Wonder if he’ll give her the motorcycle that he fell off as he broke his wrist in 2002. The irony is too delicious. Oh, and she wants a pink gun too. I have no f*cking idea what that means. But I might have to shoot myself with a pink gun if Jeff Kent wins f*cking Survivor. I’ve seen the Phillies, Yankees, Cardinals, and Matt Cain win titles in the last five years. Haven’t I been through enough?


About metstradamus

I've been a Mets fan since 1976. The 1988 NLCS still bothers me infinitely more than it should. I also write about hockey for Puck Drunk Love. I've also been referred to as "Mr. Testosterone", and "this clown". We'll always have 2015.