Taco Bell will give away free tacos to everyone in America if there is a stolen base in the World Series. The food chain did this in 2007, where Jacoby Ellsbury fed America in the second inning of Game 2 with a stolen base against the Colorado Rockies.
Game 2 of the 2012 World Series is tonight, and there is no other player that could possibly feed America tacos than former Met Angel Pagan. Forget that he has 124 steals while only being caught 33 times in his career. But remember when he almost missed an at-bat because of a bathroom break. And remember all the Pagan poop jokes that ensued. Pagan just has to be the one to send America to the bathroom … en masse.
“You want to make fun of me and my bathroom issues? Fine. See how you like it. Enjoy your tacos, America. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!” -Angel Pagan (Hopefully)
(Disclaimer: Taco Bell is fine food, and will in no way shape or form send you running to the bathroom within three seconds of eating it. You know, they have a cantina bowl now. You won’t even believe it’s Taco Bell.)
Update (11:00 pm et): Sure the hell enough, Angel Pagan stole the first base of the World Series in the eighth inning, and now we all get to experience what Pagan experienced last season as we all have free tacos. More irony: We are eligible to get our tacos on October 30th, when New York City will crack at the borders and be swept out to sea from Frankenstorm. No report on whether the arc which will carry us all away 2 by 2 will have a Taco Bell branch.
Your Jeff Kent Moment Of The Week:
The immunity challenge yesterday was catching balls in a net. You’d think the baseball player would have had this aced. A giant lacrosse net is nothing more than a bigger glove, right? But while we know that Kent wasn’t the slickest fielder in the majors, he was getting it done early in the challenge as he caught two balls of the five needed to avoid tribal council. But with his team up by two and needing one more catch to win immunity, Kent dropped one, then fell flat on his face after getting position. Way to be clutch, Jeff from Austin … getting another one of your tribemates kicked off the island. If only you could have done that with Barry Bonds, right?
Or perhaps … Barry Manilow?