Corey Patterson Cubs

Oh, I Remember …


Oh I remember, Adam. I also remember that that 3/31/03 game was the only major league game I ever left in the sixth inning. Why? Because the Cubs were winning 105-2, it was -49 degrees, and most importantly, there were three assholes in front of us that made the same dopey Mike Piazza/Sam Champion joke at the top of their lungs for three freaking innings. Leaving Shea Stadium was the only way to avoid a Metstradamus murder charge, because these three idiots deserved to die … and probably still do. I take solace in the knowledge that even though they may not be dead, they're probably dead inside because they're serving lattes and wearing funny hats at a coffee chain to make enough money to be able to rent a rat and mold infested apartment in North Jersey.

So screw you, you asshole frat boys. And by association, screw you Corey Patterson … because you indirectly caused this with your seven RBI's and your two home runs. You're old. Enjoy Las Vegas. And please try not to run into Matt Den Dekker in the outfield and give him a debilitating injury while you're down there.

And screw you Tom Glavine. You know why.


About metstradamus

I've been a Mets fan since 1976. The 1988 NLCS still bothers me infinitely more than it should. I also write about hockey for Puck Drunk Love. I've also been referred to as "Mr. Testosterone", and "this clown". We'll always have 2015.