Matt Den Dekker College

Release The Thoroughbreds

See kids, I tried not to panic about Lucas Duda. And what happens? What happens??!? Duda gets shut down … not for an injury, but for more practice. This is how bad his reworked swing is right now. It makes the brain trust panic after two games.

But with Matt Den Dekker making a hellacious spring training catch Monday night against the Nationals during a 6-4 loss, it occurred to me: Why are we so worried about Den Dekker's lack of hitting? How about we worry about defense only to start the season and have an outfield of Kirk Nieuwenhuis, Den Dekker, and Collin Cowgill? What is there to lose at this point? It's not like the guy Den Dekker would replace is Tony Gwynn.

They'll catch everything, and any offense we get is a bonus. The UZR goes through the roof, Mike Baxter can pinch hit or platoon as he was meant to do, Andrew Brown can look mean on the bench if a left hander even looks at him funny, and Duda can wear his Paul Bunyan costume and chop wood so that the post game spread can be cooked over an open flame.

Timber Duda.

There you go. Problem solved. I'm like Theo Epstein Jr. up in this bitch. Hey, I should consult. Why not? Couldn't hurt anything at this point. Why wouldn't the Mets listen to me? Oh yeah, because I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. I'd probably run this organization into the ground … to the point where the only company willing to open a store front at Citi Field is a multi-level marketing company which has been accused multiple times of running a pyramid scheme.

Yeah, only an amateur could do that.

Metstradamus

About Metstradamus

I've been a Mets fan since 1976. The 1988 NLCS still bothers me infinitely more than it should. Keep reaching for the stars, and then get checked for a torn ligament.

Quantcast